Bathroom Alternatives

Melissa: Don't use the bathroom here.
Kevin: Why?
Melissa: I just got a good whiff of the men's room just from walking by.
Greg: That must be the Spring Break crowd.
Kevin: I don't know that I can make it much longer without peeing, though.
Lady Garza: You can pee in my neighbor's yard if you want.
Greg: Or my neighbor's yard since it's closer.
Melissa: No, not our neighbor's yard, he's a cop.
Kevin: Yeah, no.
Greg: You could use our other neighbor's though, she's an Irish woman.
Kevin: Ah, so she probably pees in her yard all the time.
Greg: Probably.
Melissa: And, oh, the old lady behind us, we just found out she died, so that house is empty.
Greg: You could definitely pee at her place now. Inside even.
Kevin: It's vacant? Maybe I could squat.
Melissa: Literally.