You Love My Lady Lumps

I've been meaning to write a post about Fergie for nearly six months now. Each time I start, however, I grow too indifferent to finish. Since Fergie is the embodiment of so many good and bad qualities, it's been hard for me to form an opinion.

Pro: Fergie's first successful single with the Black Eyed Peas, "Where Is the Love" is political.
Con: The political message is trite and undermined by a whiny Justin Timberlake background track.
Pro: Fergie appeared in the best movie of last summer Poseidon.
Con: Fergie can't act!
Pro: Fergie was restricted to a non-speaking role and can be presumed drowned when the ship floods.
Con: Fergie did not sing the only song that matters in the world "The Morning After" made famous by Maureen McGovern when she similarly played the cruise singer in the original flick, The Poseidon Adventure.
Pro: Also in the category of rushing water, Fergie peed herself on stage.
Con: I have heard/read about this incident far more times then it merits. Relax, everyone's peed themselves before.
Pro: As a child, Fergie appeared on Kids Incorporated
Con: Kids Incorporated played second fiddle to The New Mickey Mouse Club, so you know it was a crappy show.
Pro: "Let's Get It Started" is a fun party song.
Con: The non-radio edit is actually "Let's Get Retarded," which is offensive.
Pro: The "oh snap" opening to the song "London Bridge" song is the catchiest intro in years.
Con: The rest of the song sucks. I know one's "London bridge coming down" must be some sort of sexual innuendo, but it's lost on me.
Pro: "Fergalicious" is the best song ending in the suffix "-licious" since Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious."
Con: It features a misspelling. When I brought this up with my students, they figured that "tasty" was in fact spelled "t-a-s-t-e-y." It's one thing to produce music that numbs children's brains. It's another to produce music that actually makes them dumber. At least Gwen Stefani can spell "bananas."
Pro: The helplessly catchy song "My Humps" was featured on the best show currently on television, The Office.
Con: It's degrading. "My lovely lady lumps"?
Pro: Hearing that song hundreds of times is now officially worthwhile thanks to this offering by Alanis Morissette:

This parody is already a "viral video" (meaning it is ravenously being passed around the internet) and I'm a little late in posting it, but I love it so much, I won't be embarrassed if I'm the millionth person to share it. I've always been a fan of Alanis Morissette, I think she is a clever songwriter with a unique voice. Hence, I'm especially a fan when she takes her unique voice and trademark whiny approach to a song that has earned the skewering. When the lyrics are slowed down, the listener has far too much time to consider how ridiculous they are. Alanis has done a great job of not only poking fun at the song, but adding self-deprication into the mix as well. In the words of Fergie, "Check it out."