I just remembered that I've had bacon in my pocket for the last seven hours and so I ate it.
Man, it was delicious.
The story could end right there as far as I'm concerned, but you probably want to know why I had bacon in my pocket.
I ate a late breakfast (the hungover, 3pm kind) at a diner. I ordered a plate that said it would come with 3 strips of bacon, which was disappointing because you always want more bacon than that. Much to my delight, I was served about 10 strips of bacon.
I can't recall a time where I was like, "That's too much bacon!" but I legitimately reached a point in the meal where I could no longer stomach any more. It was too much of a good thing. Still, it was bacon, so I didn't want to leave it to go to waste or waste a whole to-go container for one strip. My solution was to wrap it in a napkin and put it in my pocket for later.
Maybe not seven hours later, but it was still great, so whatevs. You're just jealous you didn't think of pocket bacon first!
Sadly, there's precedent for this kind of odd behavior. I also once did a napkin-wrapped "pocket steak" in Las Vegas, but that didn't hold up nearly as well.