So my backyard neighbors have this bike exercise machine in their yard that they never use. I know this because I watch. I watch because I want to ride the bike. I want to ride the bike because I am sort of obese. And I know I'm obese because I was offered a free t-shirt today but told they were out of mediums. When I asked for a small, the worker said, "What? Oh, you like your shirts real tight?" then handed it to me. Someone of my height would look ridiculous in a large t-shirt, but apparently I would look ridiculous - ridiculously fat - in a small, too.

Anyway, my goal is to ride this bike machine. I figure if I watch my neighbors enough I can learn their schedule and determine when it is safe to ride their equipment without them being home. We'll call this Plan A.

Plan B is to actually befriend these neighbors who I keep avoiding eye contact with so that they give me permission to ride their bike.

Plan C is to quit wasting so much time spying and actually get on the bicycle I own and ride somewhere to "get exercise" as it were.

While Plan B & C are much more practical and sane, right now, I'm sticking to Plan A. You know, "stay the course." Wish me luck.

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