Who Were My Students?

In another week, I'm going to start a new school year with a new bunch of new students. In reflecting on my successes and failures, I've also looked back at how deceptively cute my students were on their first day. I gave them questionnaires so I could learn more about them and their responses are largely hilarious. Here is a sampling of some of the more memorable questions and answers (typed exactly as written, spelling errors and all) I received in no particular order:

What are three words that best describe you?

Buddhist, vegetarian, nice
loud, dork, mean
funny, weird, idiotic
guy, bored, different
I don't like describing myself
daredevil
confident, friendly, muscular
boy, indipendent, friendly
athletic, sexy, charming
spontainis, outgoing, confused
hungry, tired, lazy
easily entertained
hardworking, blonde, smart

What would your English teacher from last year say about you?

I forgot what she said, but she liked me
something about my grade
excelent student works hard, very intelegent (not to be concieted, that's what she told my parents)
I don't know really she was a wakko (pardon me)
that I might try to hard or do to much
that I'm always tardy
very intristed in english
"stop going in the closet"
Your totally cool. Probably the coolest person in the world. Even cooler than Mr. [Kevin]
He loved me
Miss Walker
funny, need to stop sleeping in his class
nothing
smart but distracting
fun - never do anything in class
don't remember English teacher
favorite student
always sleeps in class
I'm passionet
argumentative but have good points
he's my worst student

What do you read for pleasure?

I don't really read for pleasure, just for money.
young communist league newsletter
report card because it's always good

What are your goals for after high school?

4 year college, be an anesthisiologist
graphics programmer for video games
cosmetologist first choice. Second to become a chef. Overall to become an author.
join Army
become a brain surgeon, or work in the nureological department, or becoming the first African American women president
masters or doctrine degree
college to be a nurse, interior designer, fashion design, or flight attendant
becoming an FBI agent
become an author & a cosmetologist
go to UCSD, teach 2nd grade, have a family
to go to college and become a child therapist and open a bar
To go to skewl & become a math teacher for [this school]
getting my license for cosmetology and going to college to become an interior designer
nothing
go to college and be a top model
taking over all fast food industries
go to a good univeristy & majoring in dance & then become a marin biologist
major in bussines management
I have to make it there first.

What celebrity do you despise?

Nicole Richie's bones
Bob Barker
everybody famous
A famous person that I disgust is Brittany Spears
scientologists, emo bands, hillary clinton
Nicole Richie - too skinny
Jack Black - that guy is dirty in so many ways
I don't really pay attention to famous people.

Describe a strange dream you've had.

There was a ride at Disneyland dedicated to Rick James
I was a gorilla getting chased by an angry mob
My grandparent's house was made of ice
I once rip out my brothers tongue, and spiders chased me into a hot tub, where they dragged me to the bottom
When I was little, I often dreamed my room was flooding with BBQ sauce and I was trapped floating on a little BBQ Grill in the corner of my room
I was being chased by a broom.
When I fell off a tree. Then I fell off my bed.
I was being attack by ducks.
I was drowning in a pool of soda and Michael Jackson laughed at me
I had a strange dream that my little sister was taller than me
I don't have time for dreams
I farted and blew up the world.
My sister was attacked by a giant apple.
went to school w/out books
My band teacher was riding a giant pharret and was chasing me around
There were children playing in a carosel and it was in a colorless image and all I hear is a voice of a man repeatedly say "mistake."
I got married "LOL"
I was boxing Mike Tyson
platypus in a rave
paintballing with polar bears
I dream that my girlfriend was my sister.
I was a midget!

What type of sense of humor do you have?

Jackass
I laugh at almost everything I understand
no type of sense of humor
anything makes me laugh
I tend to seem rude when being funny, I've been told I smile with my eyes, not with my teeth
Not a very good one because I'll laugh at anything
I laugh at things that are misfortunate to the expense of others depending on who it is like if its someone I loathe.
sarcastic
ironic
I humor myself
randomness
I love pranks
any I'm a sense of humor person

What are your hobbies?
legos, playing with dogs
taking care of my baby brother
exotic make-up
bowling, horse riding, working on engines
sports, video games, girls
I like to party and be with cute females
mechanical stuff
sewing, acting, texting, singing

What is your favorite joke's punchline

The guy died
I don't tell jokes.
yo momma
Because the skeleton had no guts
it's a dirty joke
Michael was-a-nigger
that's what she said
go tie your shoes cause you be trippin
If you were both squirrles would you let me bust a nut in you hole.

What do you want to learn this year?

everything you can teach me
what is so great about language art
Basically, I want to learn everything this year.
to like writing
as much as I can, I just want an A
how 2 write better papers & stuff like that
How to make a bomb of cheese
something
How to drive
hands off learning
improve my penmanship and spelling

Write a random sentence.

I have to change my feet.
Look to Jared Leto dance to mariachi!
My cousin colors on the walls.
Juice pig!
I think it's cute when old people go jogging, or when they dance.
Potatos rule when toasters dance with smoofs!!!
Your mom is strange.
My bologna has a first name, its OSCAR.
you got antz in your pantz and I got five toes
Dancing monkeys will take over the world.
I have a superman backpack.
I am retarted.
I wear tight pants.
What color are you sock?
I have NO beef w/ you.
You are a kitten as little.
The goblins are comming.
poop
Writing a random sentence.
I hate the cow smell
If you eat the chicken, they will drink ink!
The chicken smelled funny.
I love chicken.
The house are flying but the windows aren't because they went to the store to get a bag of chips but it had water in it.

What makes you unique?

I dance around with no music all the time
I can understand three languages
I have very sensative skin so if you just pinch me I will get a welt/bruise
I have no idea
If someone kicked me above my right ankle, my foot would start hurting because I have nerve damage on my right ankle.
I hope to be vegan soon.
I adore shoes!
I speak Swedish.
I have a very huge family. But hey I'm Mexican!
I am a kind person in class, but differ outside.
I'm Nigerian
I may not look like a kid that goes nuts and crazy, but I actually am.
I'm about 4'9" and very intelligent
ghetto
give good advice
I have a beard that goes under my chin, not on it.
straight up weird, I'm the weirdest to the weirdest
I have multiple personalities
Im darker then everybody
I love my fam
I'm craze I guess (haha)
I had 2 plates and 8 screws taken out of my arm
I a unique individual who loves punk rock and thinks of it as a way of life
I can stay quiet for a whole week in everyon one of my classes if I'm not called on and I'm probouably the most random thinker.
Well im very honust I see no point in lieing
working on body to be a model
I have a name that is the most common dog name.
I never enoy other people. At least I never did because I'm happy of what I am.
I have a twin

After you die, what would you like to be remembered for?

4 being crazy but smart
something good like Audrey Hepburn helping UNICEF
I would like to be remembered for curing the common cold, no more sick days!
Being alive
for being a fabulous leader
caring for my generation and trying to change it
My jokes
being funny and black
For my prettyness
for being the coolest person on earth
being the first black female president
being a beautiful actress inside and out