Colonese

At pub trivia tonight, we had a round where we were asked to name the top languages spoken by native speakers. We quickly brainstormed the obvious (Mandarin, English, Hindi, Arabic, Spanish) then moved onto the -ese's (Cantonese, Japanese, Portuguese, etc.)

Then one of my teammates said "Think of Colonese."
I went to write it on our answer sheet, but realized I couldn't since I didn't understand.

"Colonese?"
"Yeah, Colonese."
"Wait, like, Colonese?"
"Yeah." [others nodded in agreement]
"I'm embarrassed to say I've never even heard of Colonese."
"No, like, Colonese."
"Who speaks Colonese?"

Finally it dawns on me. Not "Colonese". COLONIES. Like imperialism. French. German.

Normally, I'd gladly own up to being a dumbass, except that we won so fucking hard tonight that I will accept no other label than smartest drunkard in the bar.

Swi le jeet! 

For you rubes out there, that's Colonese for "I'm the best!"