2010-12-08

Ten Most Overlooked Cartoon Characters

Well, no one has cartoon characters as their Facebook images anymore, which I guess means that child abuse has been conquered! Yay!!!! Kids can finally accept candy from strangers without fear.

Still, I'm disappointed that the cartoon fad is over because there were still so many animated gems that were yet to be properly commemorated. Here are the ten cartoon characters most unjustly overlooked:


10. Chicken Boo - Animaniacs
As his theme song dictates: "You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man, you're a Chicken Boo." When he wore a hat, people mistook him for a person, yet when that hat fell off, they screamed as they discovered he was but a giant chicken.


9. Martha Generic - Bobby's World
Bobby may be best remembered for being voiced by Howie Mandel (yes THE Howie Mandel!), but the real standout voice belongs to Bobby's mom, who had a folksy accent to rival Sarah Palin, dontchaknow?


8. Dr. Werner Lipschitz - Rugrats
Lipschitz was a child psychologist who cared more about hawking products than the welfare of kids, though entranced parents still blindly followed his advice.


7. The Buddy Bears - Garfield and Friends
Eternal optimists, the Buddy Bears never ceased to sing about team unity. Their annoying perkiness was the perfect foil to Garfield's curmudgeon tendencies.


6. Mrs. Beakley - DuckTales
Matronly and fairly useless in the face of d-d-d-danger, Mrs. Beakley was a loyal grandmother to Webby and nanny to Huey, Dewey, and Louie. She's also been known to polish Scrooge's moneybags, if you know what I mean. (I mean that she was his maid.)


5. Hoggish Greedly - The New Adventures of Captain Planet and the Planeteers
There's nothing this piggish villain loved more than depleting limited resources and slaughtering endangered species. Though he snorted when he talked, Hoggish should be commended for keeping those do-gooding Planeteers on their toes.


4. RUDI - The Jetsons
He was George's work computer that did all of the actual work. Stuck in the office, RUDI was lonely and severely depressed; he would have surely killed himself if only he had been programmed to know how.


3. Denver - Denver, the Last Dinosaur
It's not easy being the last existing dinosaur considering how many researchists would like to exploit him for science. Fortunately, a group of young friends found him first and kept him safe. Much like Chicken Boo, with a simple baseball cap and t-shirt, Denver could pass for a human boy.


2. Irma Langinstein - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The clumsy best friend of April was not only super dorky, but also super boy-crazy. Alas, despite a crush on Donatello, she never managed to bag a turtle. Perhaps they weren't attracted to Jews.


1. Bud Dink - Doug
In the spirit of Wilson, Mr. Feeny, Kimmy Gibbler, and Urkel, comes another whacky next door neighbor character: Mr. Dink. He spent his time creating unsuccessful inventions, but at least it was a better way of keeping his hands busy than, say, molesting Doug.

I looked hard, and not even one was referenced on Facebook. How did you forget all these classics, Facebook? You should be ashamed - even more ashamed than the child abusers themselves.

2 comments:

Susan said...

I remember Dr. Lipschitz and Bud Dink from watching Rugrats and Doug at your house when I was babysitting! I noticed no one used a character from Snorks or the Get-a-long Gang either.

Anonymous said...

The Buddy Bears were my all time favorite, especially their trade mark jingle.