Ryan's Time of the Month

Ryan cut his finger open pretty badly on a mussel shell at a restaurant last night. He used the accessible paper napkins to sop up the blood for a while, but the bleeding persisted, so Allison jumped in with a better solution: a tampon from her purse.

Ryan unraveled the tampon and wrapped it around his finger to absorb the blood. It was a pretty genius move in a pinch. That didn't stop me from cracking jokes, though. I told Ryan he had finally become a man and that just because he used a tampon, it didn't mean he wasn't a virgin anymore.

At one point, the 'pon (or "tamp" if you're a rube) fell off his finger and rolled under the table. Ryan told us that it was "all right" and that we shouldn't bother looking for it, but we insisted that leaving a bloody tampon on the ground was inappropriate regardless of the extenuating circumstances.

Once the fallen tampon was recovered, Ryan realized he was able to secure it to his finger better by tying it on with the tampon's own strings. Genius again! Why are we even bothering with bandaids anymore?